Life and death. You live...you die. Should be fairly simple but somehow we get caught up in the cycle of living and dying and realize it is not always so simple and clear cut. Most of us are born into the world through a fairly simple birthing process and taken home swaddled in the arms of the new mom or dad. That is the way I want to leave this world too....a fairly simple dying process swaddled in the arms of angels. I have seen lots of death in my career as a nurse but it is in a different light that I see it as a daughter. When my dad was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in March it began a series of up and downs in this cycle of death. Discussions whether it was Satge III or Stage IV....radiation or radiation and chemo, side effects of treatment, second opinions, prognosis....3 months, 9 months, ???. Decisions you are forced to make as you are still dealing with the diagnosis. Then in June my mother is diagnosed with cancer. The surgeon said he was 99% sure it was a sarcoma....a very aggressive cancer with no treatment and poor prognosis at this time due to the size of the tumor. A week of agonizing despair thinking both your parents have agrressive terminal cancers. Then the biopsy comes back and it is a slow growing, treatable cancer. Due to age and a chronic lung disease she has opted for no treatment and elected to attain the services of Hospice as did my dad. With cancer you have many choices....treatment or no treatment, what kind of treatment, end of care life or not. Was the right decision made? Why are we hearing different things from different doctors? And then the remaining family members coping with the decisions that were made. So much doubt. My plea to anyone facing these kinds of dilemas and decisions is to make them as the most informed patient you can be. And make them with the help of family members. Share your fears, expectations and hopes with each other and know that you have left little doubt that the choices made were the right ones and that end of life care can be experienced in the most positive, peaceful manner possible.
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I only can imagine what this must feel like losing your Mom and knowing your
Dad's days are numbered.
The whole experience is supposed to be natural but no one can prepare you or tell how you are to feel whe it really happens.
This has been hard for the entire family but it has brought the family closer than they have been in years.
Your Dad must be very proud of how everyone came to their Mothers side and was there for her.Dave
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